头昏脑涨了~~~

好烦哦 ！！

我需要火花 !!!

The forgotten old ones.

my mom crazy edi..

crazy for youtube.. haha.. 

ever since i teach her how to log on to you tube, how to download video, she've been opening those old melody whenever she's free. early in the morning it became my alarm, at night it accompany me to do my hw.. hahahahahah....

though looking at her clicking on the mouse and typing slowly is quite fun.. her reaction is so cute wei.. suddenly she will scold the comp den suddenly very happy that she found what she want.. haha.. old lady memang like that.. haha.. i'm glad she learnt about internet. actually i'm glad she still has the ability to learn.. glad she's not too old to remember all the steps to download a video. haha.. 

NOTES : my mom use two hands for typing wor~~~ not one finger.. hahaha.. but still she need to use 1 min to find out where the"q" is.hahaha.....

erm... being listen to old melody for few days, i think i should recommend one or two.. quite nice de... and it can be emo too... for rachel and ah sui..haha..

chinese version. my mom's favourite. sick of listening to it now..haha..

臭蚊子！！！

每个人都一定有同样的经验。

只是   

基于不同的理由。

当身体累倒极点时，

倒在床上。

听着秒针走了三百六十五圈    

又三百六十五圈。

还是睡不着。

闭上眼睛，

竟然又开始害怕起来。

害怕会睡不着。

害怕会翻来复去到天明。

又想起，

曾经试过    

，就要掉进梦想的那一瞬间，

脑里突然闪过一个念头：

“怕睡不着！”   

   

结果，

又失眠一整夜。

天啊～～～

失眠不好受。

更糟的是，

笨蛋蚊子竟然多到   

翅膀震动的声音   

可以盖过秒针走动的旋律。

这个家到底是蚊子的家还是 我 的家#$?@?$

Tuesday phobia

i hope there's alwiz another day between monday and tuesday. so that i won't need to face the lecturer on tuesday morning. although i've done quite a lot work on the subject. but when facing him, i alwiz appeared dumn and unprepared. i really do prepared de. remembering the awful marks that i get last term, i lost the courage to go to his class. quite coward hor.. i promised to work hard and work hard and work hard this term de. just hope that he wont say anything sarcastic again.  

MR IVVAN!!!! I DO PREPARED OKAYYY??!@!??@?!

and he's the oni lecturer who will reject student for their researches. we did research and still get rejected. sigh..

Starry Starry Night

Now only i realised that "vincent" song in the 溏心风暴 is about vincent van gogh. Van gogh is a mad man yet sentimental and full of expresions. when he express himself through his art, it turns out to be pieces of solemn, Tense, Dark and somber. He is insaned, and attemped to cut his company with a razor, which turned out his own ear was cut accidentally. My lecturer told us he painted a series of wheat field scenes. each of them very different in composition and subject. the dominant wheat field reflected his state of mind, or his life. The poor guy, had no humanbeing on earth who able to understand his thinking, since he is mad, explain his struggle against madness through the series. The most famous wheat field painting is the wheat field with crows. 

The crows overhead are interpreted as signs of foreboding or even death. at the very same month he painted the masterpiece, he shot himself with a revolver in a garden, and then walk back home.

Always, when thinking of Van gogh's life, i feel sorry for him. He h

as nobody to understand him. AlONE in his own world. Luckily for him, he still has his pallete.

"Vincent". by Don Mclean.

Starry, starry night.
Paint your palette blue and grey,
Look out on a summer's day,
With eyes that know the darkness in my soul.
Shadows on the hills,
Sketch the trees and the daffodils,
Catch the breeze and the winter chills,
In colors on the snowy linen land. 

Now I understand what you tried to say to me,
How you suffered for your sanity,
How you tried to set them free.
They would not listen, they did not know how.
Perhaps they'll listen now. 

Starry, starry night.
Flaming flowers that brightly blaze,
Swirling clouds in violet haze,
Reflect in Vincent's eyes of china blue.
Colors changing hue, morning field of amber grain,
Weathered faces lined in pain,
Are soothed beneath the artist's loving hand. 

Now I understand what you tried to say to me,
How you suffered for your sanity,
How you tried to set them free.
They would not listen, they did not know how.
Perhaps they'll listen now. 

For they could not love you,
But still your love was true.
And when no hope was left in sight
On that starry, starry night,
You took your life, as lovers often do.
But I could have told you, Vincent,
This world was never meant for one
As beautiful as you. 

Starry, starry night.
Portraits hung in empty halls,
Frameless head on nameless walls,
With eyes that watch the world and can't forget.
Like the strangers that you've met,
The ragged men in the ragged clothes,
The silver thorn of bloody rose,
Lie crushed and broken on the virgin snow. 

Now I think I know what you tried to say to me,
How you suffered for your sanity,
How you tried to set them free.
They would not listen, they're not listening still.
Perhaps they never will... 

Starry Night

people need blog to express their emo.. 

people need blog to shout out their happiness..

people need blog to get attatched to people...

people need blog to kill time...

i need blog to remind what kind of person i were and what kind of person i am turning into and what kind of person i want to be... 

err.. actually everyone need blog for the same reason too.. XD.. 

But i never managed to keep a blog alive for more than half years.. still, it is sort of fun to peeping at ppl's blog and see what they going through.. and OMG we have the similar experience.. haha.. quite stupid for me that now only i realised that. it is a PROCESS. growing up. learn things. get pressured. get heart broken. get new mates. get opportunities. get disappoinment. encountered challange.or failure. stand back on ur feet. at moved on. so now we are all going through the same process, i don't feel as LONELY as i were.

LONELY is a big word. we have thousands and thousands of millions people (do we?) living on the earth. Fool is u to feel lonely. but apparently, I do. or isit everyone has the same feeling too? gosh i am stupid.

Chibi series

i am so so sian... supposed to be searching about asian interior style.. and who said google is the best search engine???? can't even get a PROPER piece of info.. think i shouldnt blame google.. blame no one then... 

since i so sian.. upload some pic chuan chuan ppl.. XD

first chibi by him. chibi = cute

2nd chibi.

forcing him to draw 3rd and 4th and more chibi..XD

跟您拼过 !!!!!!!!

i've always thought i am good in class.. but not last term.. last term sucks.. result is bad..i know i didn't do my best, but that kind of mark.. is totally disaster for me.. gosh 

this term.. 跟你拼了！！！！！！　

不要小看我！！HMMPHHHHH!!!!

NAMES

People have names with meanings.. everyone has one, some has few...

I have a lot.. 

the original one, from my dad, 锐桦．he tole me once the meaning of my name.. he say  hope someday i will become like the 桦树，a tree that is very huge and protect people who take shelter from it.. well, i've been proud to have that name for years.. untill few months ago, i checked up about 桦 online. it's birch in e

nglish. i expected huge trunks with branches that stretched to afar, foliages that cover the whole sky and sun light filtered throught the leaves and dappled on ground.. he told me the tree is so huge that it needs ten 

adults to hug its trunk.

well, what i saw is thin, tiny branches, thin, weak,loomy,  dunno how to describe ah..

anyway, i feel sad.. why would he tell me that it is a huge tree?? i noe it is quite stupedios to be sad just for a name.. actually, i cherised every thing that he gave me.. especially my name, it is the stories that he told me that i hold on to when i go up.. sometimes when i think of my name, i am very proud.. think of his expectations of me, think of what he wanted me to become. but now, it just vanished. just like he vanished in my life. memories faded, his influence on the family is gone, no property left, even the words that he said is forgotten.. people say he will not leave u as long as he is in ur heart. damn right, he is not there anymore. i cant feel it. so i believe time can heal any wound. whether it was covered up or people dont want to lay a sight on it. we move on. and we live. 

then, come other nick names...

ah dan.. or  pei dan.. it resembles another period of my life too.. happy, naive. but it is a pain to me now.is is not that kind of pain that u have that u regret or sth else.. just the kind of pain that u realised u will nvr be the same ah dan anymore. time passed and things changed. i always think about life that i used to have. it is so beautiful that i thought growing up will not affect my life at all. i missed the fun, the laughter, the friends, the moments... 

now, i am sarsi... it means pressures. i having happy moments too.. but most of it is problems, a little bit failure, depressed. but i am freely myself. i do things that i want. say things that i like. although to do the things i want or i thought i wanted cost me a lot. but until now, i realized i've always have no idea of what i want. but still, i am moving..